Ask Bert....

Superdan

2012-06-15 13:40:00 UTC

Well Bert as we all know is a sophisticated computer anomolie, his links to posts with in seconds of it appearing, and his searching skills on the forum are second to none, he is a sublime system of engineering almost honda-esque in its execution.

I think we need to test out his skills, as so far I think we have only scratched the surface of the sheer magnitute of his prowess, as a computer, although sent from the future I dont believe he has accrued "emotional state" so obviously he would never create a thread like this to show of his vaingloriousness.

So post up your questions and ask Bert, maybe you want to know what you should have for tea? what shirt you should wear? even the meaning of life.

nampus

2012-06-15 13:51:00 UTC

Well, the answer to life the universe and everything is 42
I'll leave the rest of the answers to Bert

tripoddave

2012-06-15 15:26:00 UTC

Bert
I have a KTM250EXE-F (with a 280 big bore kit) and a Husky TC250 (enduro conversion).
Should I trade them both in for a KTM350EXE, accept that I'm nearly 50 and should back off a bit and get a Freeride or just sell the Husky and put the money towards the fortune I've spent on making my SD no faster at all?
Thanks

stalker

2012-06-15 16:40:00 UTC

BERT

what is a good excuse for not keeping up with the others at crashfest ?

omky756

2012-06-15 17:08:00 UTC

viewtopic.php?f=8&t=19604

Let's ask Bert...
+2
WTF..???
Shed some light Bert

Bert

2012-06-15 17:27:00 UTC

Post missing.

Bert

2012-06-15 17:30:00 UTC

Post missing.

Bert

2012-06-15 17:37:00 UTC

Post missing.

Superdan

2012-06-15 17:41:00 UTC

Amazing

BASH69

2012-06-15 18:33:00 UTC

bert,

how can i evade tax for the rest of my life and not get caught (and living a gypsy/pikey lifestyle isnt an option)

Thanks Bert

tripoddave

2012-06-15 18:43:00 UTC

Post missing.

Linga

2012-06-15 18:53:00 UTC

Post missing.

Stupid Luke

2012-06-15 23:06:00 UTC

Bert

How did Dribbleduke survive big school? If he had gone to an english secondary he would have spent 5 years with a wedgie and his head down the toilet. No more pipe dreams but a good look at U bends.

Now that Jim'll fix it is no more is there any way that Freestyler could ever overtake anyone on track?

Has Klincky had a lottery win to fund all his trackdays and blingtastic improvements or is he getting paid to be Rula Lenska's hair double?

Has Gin Reaper forgotten about my need for a R & G crashbung for my motorsickle?

Viking

2012-06-15 23:11:00 UTC

Post missing.

SDNerd

2012-06-15 23:38:00 UTC

Why is chicken called chicken but cow is called beef and pig is called pork?

Will my sprocket arrive on Monday so I can go to Oulton?

DribbleDuke

2012-06-16 04:00:00 UTC

Bert,

What are the principle differences of the OEM Nissin front brake master cylinders used on 2006-07 GSX-R750s versus those on 2009-11 GSX-R1000s? That is, other than Suzuki's part numbers? Does one exceed the other in terms of performance?

Can you arrange a sizable, long term, no-interest loan for me - say, 40 billion USD? I promise to pay 100% of it back; installments or lump sum - whichever you prefer.

Since they are criminalizing possession and consumption of foie gras in Kalifronistan, could you drive to France, and have some shipped to me?

Is it possible to drink every variety of beer produced in Belgium in one's lifetime?

Do you own a Magic 8-Ball?

I have more questions, but let's see how answers to these turn out.

Thanks!

TLS_Russ

2012-06-16 04:57:00 UTC

Where did I put down my duckie?

Stupid Luke

2012-06-16 05:14:00 UTC

Post missing.

Millar

2012-06-16 06:59:00 UTC

1. WTF is Prometheus the movie all about?
2. Has Ridley Scott become senile paranoid schizophrenic like George Lucas?
3. Will the Predators show up in the Prometheus sequel and kill everyone off because they are retarded? (please say yes)
4. Will every sci-fi movie from now on have the ubiquitous blah blah/boom boom siren sound in their theme song like that movie Inception?
5. Is Noomie Rapace the same girl in Dead Space: Extraction?

ktmguy

2012-06-16 08:14:00 UTC

Post missing.

jmann

2012-06-16 10:15:00 UTC

Post missing.

MADDOG53

2012-06-16 10:28:00 UTC

Why is something that burns the crap out of your mouth like you just eaten a piece of the sun called "chilli"
Is the comparisson life is like a penis: Hard and too short also accurate for me?
If the universe originated out of a black hole why is Africa such a mess?
What are next week winning lotto numbers? (PM me only on this)
Why are other people answering questions in this tread while it is supposed to be Bertcomputer answering?

jambox

2012-06-16 14:04:00 UTC

Post missing.

TLS_Russ

2012-06-16 15:49:00 UTC

Bert why cant we have an ignore button

Bert

2012-06-16 17:28:00 UTC

Post missing.

Bert

2012-06-16 17:56:00 UTC

Post missing.

Bert

2012-06-16 18:02:00 UTC

Post missing.

Bert

2012-06-16 18:04:00 UTC

Post missing.

Bert

2012-06-16 18:10:00 UTC

Post missing.

Bert

2012-06-16 18:46:00 UTC

Post missing.

Bert

2012-06-16 18:49:00 UTC

Post missing.

Superdan

2012-06-16 19:13:00 UTC

Bert

2012-06-16 19:14:00 UTC

Post missing.

Bert

2012-06-16 19:18:00 UTC

Post missing.

Bert

2012-06-16 19:35:00 UTC

Post missing.

Bert

2012-06-16 19:42:00 UTC

Post missing.

Linga

2012-06-16 19:58:00 UTC

I'm suddenly afraid... Very, very afraid....

CEREC1

2012-06-16 21:03:00 UTC

Very, my brother says what is an occasional table the rest of the time

Stupid Luke

2012-06-16 21:05:00 UTC

I am on another forum trying to list all the women I have shagged. I cant remember them all, do you think it is penile dementure?

Bert

2012-06-16 21:12:00 UTC

Post missing.

Bert

2012-06-16 21:16:00 UTC

Post missing.

Jermo

2012-06-17 01:04:00 UTC

Epic thread!

scamb66

2012-06-17 12:29:00 UTC

Is Belgium in France?

Bert

2012-06-17 20:07:00 UTC

Post missing.

wizzzard

2012-06-17 21:04:00 UTC

Bert,
what kinda ram mount has this gentleman on th tank of his SD ?
He is filming with a harness, but there is a ram mount wich you can see lying on his tank attached with some kind of ram mount

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8NS-jai_Rdc

Bert

2012-06-18 06:51:00 UTC

Post missing.

Superdan

2012-06-18 09:14:00 UTC

Your all just taking advantage of poor old Bert now

TLS_Russ

2012-06-18 09:40:00 UTC

Post missing.

Bert

2012-06-18 10:01:00 UTC

Post missing.

TLS_Russ

2012-06-18 11:33:00 UTC

Yes I could if I was not computer illiterate

CEREC1

2012-06-18 11:48:00 UTC

Post missing.

TLS_Russ

2012-06-18 12:03:00 UTC

Bert as you are a computer whizz can you help with this one;

I have a new VPN for working in China now,
Works fine on my Mac in the office, works fine on my Sony laptop with Windows XP Pro, works fine on my IPhone to,
But on my spare Sony laptop with Windows 7, windows keeps telling me the program is not compatible even though it works ok.........

Why and how to get rid of the stupid little flag on the shortcut

Bert

2012-06-18 12:52:00 UTC

Post missing.

jmann

2012-06-18 13:01:00 UTC

Post missing.

CEREC1

2012-06-18 19:18:00 UTC

Has Bert really got a mono brow and an orange nose?

CEREC1

2012-06-18 19:33:00 UTC

Bert how do I paste in a photo onto a thread? Tried copy and paste, nowt happens

Bert

2012-06-18 20:04:00 UTC

Post missing.

CEREC1

2012-06-18 20:26:00 UTC

Post missing.

Bert

2012-06-18 20:33:00 UTC

Post missing.

CEREC1

2012-06-18 21:07:00 UTC

Post missing.

SDNerd

2012-06-18 21:17:00 UTC

Post missing.

Davo-Singapore

2012-06-19 00:00:00 UTC

Bert. Will my new slipper clutch arrive in time from STM for this weekend on track at Sepang?

SDNerd

2012-06-19 00:44:00 UTC

I keep waiting for the Q to Bert that starts with "... my condom broke last night and ___________________________ ?"

DribbleDuke

2012-06-19 00:49:00 UTC

Post missing.

Bert

2012-06-19 06:31:00 UTC

Post missing.

Al3x

2012-06-22 21:28:00 UTC

Bert, I'm turning my SDR back to standard as I'm selling it soon. I have a MH Motobox, MH secondary flies and SAS block off plates. My question is....Can I leave the SAS plates and flies on with the standard airbox and exhaust? Will it bugger up the Cat converter? Will it run OK?

I really can't be arsed to put the SAS back on...

Cheer Bert

Bert

2012-06-22 21:57:00 UTC

Post missing.

Colonel_Klinck

2012-06-22 22:23:00 UTC

Dont forget to put the standard map back on though. Running Akra map with standard cans means ruined cat

Al3x

2012-06-22 22:37:00 UTC

Post missing.

Colonel_Klinck

2012-07-26 07:17:00 UTC

Hmmm has Bert been recalled to Google for a software upgrade? Haven't sen a post from him in a while now.

ktmguy

2012-07-26 08:39:00 UTC

Post missing.

jambox

2012-07-26 11:10:00 UTC

Post missing.