Firstly, a sincere message for all of those affected by the accident
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Italian divers searching the stricken cruise ship have found two Glaswegians at the bar.

They've told the divers to fook off, they're all inclusive.
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When the captain of the ill fated Costa Concordia was asked if he knew where he was going he replied "off course"
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I like my women how I like my Italian Cruises.

Wet, wrecked and ready to go down.
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I was watching the news about the stricken cruise ship when the Sky News presenter said, "She's lying on her side with a gash the size of a tennis court."

I just happened to glance over at the wife on the sofa and now it's all kicked off here!
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The Italian army has been called in to help with the people from the grounded cruise ship. But they have now swapped sides and have declared war on the survivors.
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A boat has capsized off the coast of Italy.

The referee has booked it for diving.
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Italian Police are still interviewing the Korean Honeymoon couple found on the Costa Concordia as to the whereabouts of the rescue dog that first found them.
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Why did Berlusconi rush to the cruise ship?

To look at the gash.
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Costa Concordia - the only place where you are guaranteed to get your drink on the rocks

The captain of the Costa Concordia says he is not guilty of manslaughter , and has witnesses to prove he was nowhere near the passengers who died.



That army one made me alot.

ehehe

Here's one:
Good guys ride bikes
Apparently the disgraced captain of the Concordia rides a Harley.

Winston Churchill has some things to say about Italian Cruise Liners.

After his retirement he was cruising the Mediterranean on an Italian cruise liner.

Some Italian journalists asked why an ex British Prime Minister should chose an Italian ship.

“There are three things I like about being on an Italian cruise ship” said Churchill.

“First their cuisine is unsurpassed."

"Second their service is superb."

"And then, in time of emergency, there is none of this nonsense about women and children first”.