Economic stimulus package explained --------




Sometime this year, we taxpayers may again receive another 'Economic Stimulus' payment.

This is indeed a very exciting program, and I'll explain it by using a Q & A format:


Q. What is an 'Economic Stimulus' payment?

A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.


Q. Where will the government get this money?

A. From taxpayers.


Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?

A. Only a smidgen of it.


Q. What is the purpose of this payment?

A. The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.


Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China?

A. Shut up.


Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the Australian Economy by spending your stimulus cheque wisely:


If you spend the stimulus money at Coles, the money will go to China or Sri Lanka.

If you spend it on petrol, your money will go to the Arabs.


If you purchase a computer, it will go to India, Taiwan or China.

If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico, Honduras and Guatemala.

If you buy an efficient car, it will go to Japan or Korea.

If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan.

If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it will go to management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.

Instead, keep the money in Australia by:

1) Spending it at garage sales.

2) Going to the football.

3) Spending it on prostitutes, or

4) Beer, or

5) Tattoos

(These are the only Australian businesses still operating in Australia)

Conclusion:
Go to a footy game with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a garage-sale and drink beer all day!


No need to thank me, I'm just glad I could be of help.

Thanks for the advice... but that sounds like a normal sunday anyway.. glad im doing my part to keep australia going the right direction....

i guess this is the doing of the trans sexual in power that just put the cost of living up thu the new carbon tax and then is going to compensate us... is that just another form of a stimulas package

I can't wait till all the 'tree hugging greens' that the ugly red head is in bed with get their first $1000.00 electricity bill. They'll be saying "save the environment! But not like this! I can't afford this"!!

Spot on!

We see it, my dum dog sees it, how come the pollies don't get it?????

This country (and others) is most truly run by the dummest thick assholes available....
Democracy my ass!!!

Stalin must be laughing from his grave.