A CATTLE DOG STORY
Julia Gillard called Bob Brown into her office one day and said "Bob, I have a great idea! We are going to go all out to win the country voters"..
"Good idea Leader, how will we go about it"? said Brown.
"Well", said Gillard, "we get ourselves one of those Driaza Bone coats, some RM Williams boots, a stick and an Akubra hat. Oh, and a blue cattle dog. Then we'll really look the part. We'll go to a typical old outback country pub, we'll show we really enjoy the bush".
"Right" said Brown.
Days later, all kitted out and with the requisite blue heeler, they set off from Canberra in a westerly direction. Eventually they arrived at just the place they were looking for and found a typical outback pub. They walked in with the dog and up to the bar.
"G'day mate", said Gillard to the bartender, "two middies of your best beer".
"Good afternoon Leader", said the bartender, "two middies of our best coming up".
Gillard and Brown stood leaning on the bar drinking their beer and chatting, nodding now and again to whoever came into the bar for a drink. The dog lay quietly at their feet.
All of a sudden, the door from the adjacent bar opened and in came a grizzled old stockman, complete with stock whip. He walked up to the cattle dog, lifted its tail with the whip and looked underneath, shrugged his shoulders and walked back to the other bar. A few moments later in came another old stockman with his whip. He walked up to the dog and lifted its tail, looked underneath, scratched his head and went back to the other bar.
Over the course of the next hour or so another four or five stockmen came in and lifted the dog's tail and went away looking puzzled.
Eventually, Gillard and Brown could stand it no longer and called the barman over.
"Tell me" said Brown, "why did all those old stockmen come in and look under the dog's tail like that? Is it an old outback custom?"
"Strewth no", said the barman. "Someone told 'em there was a cattle dog in the bar with two arseholes"...
AGRO!
2011-08-24 09:29:00 UTC
MrZ32
2011-08-24 10:37:00 UTC
LOL, i do like that one... you know me so well.
Although just thinking about those two makes my blood boil... I would like to think that they were just useless... but is much worse... their policies are dangerous!!
Although just thinking about those two makes my blood boil... I would like to think that they were just useless... but is much worse... their policies are dangerous!!
lc4
2011-08-25 09:20:00 UTC
Look at the alternative
loony888
2011-08-25 09:36:00 UTC
ALL politicians are self serving, manipulative snake oil sales people, i have no respect for any of them, contempt i have in spades.
Aussieduke
2011-08-25 09:53:00 UTC
Love it,...we all love our pollies so much, maybe one day well even find some that have our countries best interests at heart, instead of their own self preservation and after hours hooker fringe benefits on the credit card! PRICKS.....eat shit and die.
Sorry did I say that out loud?
Sorry did I say that out loud?
loony888
2011-08-25 09:54:00 UTC
it's ok roscoe, consider it therapy, just make sure it goes on your ballot paper next election
Aussieduke
2011-08-25 10:09:00 UTC
Post missing.
scamb66
2011-08-29 07:18:00 UTC
Least the labour Party can organize a root in a brothel
MrZ32
2011-08-29 08:29:00 UTC
Post missing.
AGRO!
2011-08-29 09:00:00 UTC
Your having a party? Count me in!
ktmguy
2011-08-29 20:31:00 UTC
A large jet plane crashed on a farm in the middle of rural Australia. Panic
stricken, the local police inspector mobilized and descended on the farm in
force.
By the time they got there, the aircraft was totally destroyed with only a
burned hull left smouldering in a tree line that bordered the farm.
The inspector and his men entered the smoking mess but could find no remains
of anyone. They spotted the farmer ploughing a field not too far away as if nothing
had happened. They hurried over to the man's tractor.
"John " the inspector yelled, panting and out of breath. "Did you see this
terrible accident happen?" "Yep. Sure did," the farmer mumbled unconcerned,
cutting off the tractor's engine..
"Do you realise that is the Prime Ministers RAAF 737, the aeroplane of the
Prime Minister of Australia"?
"Yep."
"Were there any survivors?"
"Nope. They's all got killed straight out," the farmer answered. "I buried them
all myself. Took me most of the morning."
"Gillard is dead?" the inspector asked.
"Well," the farmer grumbled, restarting his tractor.
"She kept saying she wasn't.... But you know what a liar she is ....
stricken, the local police inspector mobilized and descended on the farm in
force.
By the time they got there, the aircraft was totally destroyed with only a
burned hull left smouldering in a tree line that bordered the farm.
The inspector and his men entered the smoking mess but could find no remains
of anyone. They spotted the farmer ploughing a field not too far away as if nothing
had happened. They hurried over to the man's tractor.
"John " the inspector yelled, panting and out of breath. "Did you see this
terrible accident happen?" "Yep. Sure did," the farmer mumbled unconcerned,
cutting off the tractor's engine..
"Do you realise that is the Prime Ministers RAAF 737, the aeroplane of the
Prime Minister of Australia"?
"Yep."
"Were there any survivors?"
"Nope. They's all got killed straight out," the farmer answered. "I buried them
all myself. Took me most of the morning."
"Gillard is dead?" the inspector asked.
"Well," the farmer grumbled, restarting his tractor.
"She kept saying she wasn't.... But you know what a liar she is ....
AGRO!
2011-08-30 12:33:00 UTC
Does she lie?